Is your relationship worth saving?
At times, it’s easy to feel like the bond that once held you together is slipping away. But what if I told you that your relationship is worth saving? And, that with the right guidance and support, you can reignite the flame of connection and rediscover the love that brought you together in the first place?
You may wonder if it is even possible to save your relationship…
The answer is: Yes! Yes, it is possible to save your relationship!
Almost every relationship can be saved. Yes, even yours! Even if the feeling that the love has disappeared from your relationship prevails, your relationship can still be saved.
It is possible to save your relationship if the following criteria are met:
- There is still “something” alive within your relationship, like a flame, a spark or maybe that occasional glimpse of how magical things used to be during your happier times…
- You are both willing to take a deep look at yourselves and are able to see how your do’s and don’ts have contributed to the current state of your relationship…
- You both have a strong desire to save your relationship and you are both determined to do what is necessary to make your relationship work again.
So, how is your relationship doing?
If you are disappointed in your relationship, maybe it is because you and your partner have lost your skill to really connect to each other. Maybe long-neglected emotional pain is draining your relationship, making it difficult for you both to be accessible to each other. Maybe your mutual commitment seems to have melted away.
Are constant tensions draining your relationship?
Fear often plays a role: fear of connecting in a vulnerable way because you do not know how your partner is going to react. That is how you become estranged from each other. To deal with this alienation, most couples develop a negative interaction cycle that entraps them. This interaction cycle leads to constant tensions in the relationship causing you to feel unsafe and disconnected from each other.
Do you feel trapped in a vicious cycle?
Couples trapped in a negative interaction cycle usually do not benefit from: “breaking up and then trying again with another partner”. (There is even a great chance that you will continue with your negative behaviour in your next relationship, which will lead to a similar negative interaction cycle, just with a different partner!) Unfortunately, a negative interaction cycle generally does not end by itself. It takes effect and dedication of both partners to break such a vicious cycle. Couples therapy is an effective way to break the cycle, healing long-neglected pain in the relationship and connecting again.
Are you ready to save your relationship?
Going into couples therapy together is a good way to save your relationship. Couples therapy offers a safe space to explore, understand, and heal. It’s a journey of introspection and growth, where you can learn valuable relationship skills to navigate conflicts, strengthen your communication, and deepen your intimacy.
Couples therapy is effective
I am specialized in the Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) method of Dr. Sue Johnson. This approach to couples therapy has been proven to be very effective. According to the Emotionally Focused Therapy method you and your partner are both OK and beautiful just as you are. But… somewhere along the way, you and your partner developed a negative interaction pattern that does not benefit the happiness in your relationship. To save your relationship we thus need to address this negative interaction pattern.
Unravel your negative interaction patterns
During our couples therapy sessions, I will help you become aware and unravel the negative interaction patterns that you have developed together. As your EFT couple therapist, I will take no sides and make no judgment about your actions. Together we will reflect on the reasons behind your interaction pattern so you can both realize how your behaviour inflicts pain on yourself and your partner. The causes of the interaction pattern usually consist of unfulfilled needs in the relationship, which may lead you to feel hurt, betrayed, or abandoned.
When you are both aware of your negative interaction pattern, I will help develop a positive interaction pattern, where you can communicate your needs in the relationship and what you can do about them.
Learn the necessary relationship skills
So, don’t let the challenges of today overshadow the possibilities of tomorrow. Your relationship is a precious gem, worthy of saving. All you need is the courage and determination to learn the necessary relationship skills. Are you ready to learn?
Saving your relationship with EFT couples therapy
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), also known as Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT), aims to enhance the connection between partners. With a success rate exceeding 71%, EFT couples therapy is highly effective in bringing couples closer together.
Gain valuable insights
Through EFT couples therapy, you will gain valuable insights into your own needs and reactions, as well as those of your partner. EFT is designed to strengthen your mutual bond and reignite accessibility between you. Throughout the therapy process, I will guide you in carefully examining the interaction patterns that contribute to pain and distance in your relationship, empowering you to make positive changes. EFT is such an accessible and practical method that many couples experience significant breakthroughs after just a few sessions.
Hesitations: obstacles for couples therapy
When you are ill, you will probably go see your doctor. That is just common sense. But what if your relationship is not well? Would you go see a couples therapist just as easily?
When it comes to consulting a third party about their relationship happiness, some couples still hesitate. The obstacles for seeking help in the form of couples therapy seem difficult to overcome. The following 3 obstacles are the most common when couples seek help for their relationship.
1. Fear of having failed
Some couples find it difficult to admit to themselves that they are not able to work out their problems without help. Going to couples therapy would be the same as admitting that they have failed in their relationship. This fear, the feeling of not having done well, prevails. They prefer to keep quiet about the situation due to shame… They feel ashamed of themselves, ashamed of what the kids, the family and/or others might think. Unfortunately, this leads to even more tensions in the relationship.
2. Invasion of privacy
For some couples, going into couples therapy feels strange and difficult. after all, airing the dirty linen of your relationship is something you do not do with just about anyone. That is understandable. A bond of trust should exist with the person with whom the personal and intimate aspects of the relationship are discussed.
3. Doubts about the usefulness
Having doubts about the usefulness of couples therapy is also very common. The argument that is often used here is: “What can a couples therapist do for us that we can’t do for ourselves?”
Remove the obstacles that stand in the way of your relationship happiness
I recommend that you first have a candid discussion about what you want for your relationship. It is important that no accusations are made in this discussion. Share with each other how you experience the relationship now. After that, share what you would like to see different in your current relationship –pay attention: the relationship! not the other!-. Also share to what extent fear, a feeling of unease, or doubt is keeping you from going into couples therapy.
Just have an introductory session
When this conversation has taken place, just bite the bullet and have an introductory session. After all, it doesn’t hurt to try. Mutually agree to look for another therapist or other options if one of you does not “click” with me as your EFT couples therapist.
Taking a first step usually makes it easier to seek further help. The first step is after all a confirmation that you still want to make something out of your relationship.
Still hesitating?
Some couples hesitate to go into couples therapy for all kinds of reasons. Well, there is an alternative to couples therapy…
If couples therapy is too big of a step for you to save your relationship, please consider enrolling in the ‘Hold me Tight’ relationship course. This course is based on the EFT couples therapy method and produces excellent results.