About Reginald…
My name is Reginald Markes. I’m an experienced couples therapist and family therapist specifically trained in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) and Gestalt Therapy. I specialize in working with couples with relationship problems where trust is an issue.
Hello, nice to meet you…
How may I be of service?
Me, professionally…
As an experienced EFT couples therapist, I support couples with a safe and compassionate form of couples therapy or counselling. This happens in a way that encourages understanding and emotional healing. My style is humorous, positive and empathic, with a spicy dash of affective provocation. I am respectful of personal values and lifestyles. Couples from every walk of life are welcome…
I treat you like the beautiful, complete and perfect person that you are, with your own set of qualities and vulnerabilities, and your own unique background. In my eyes, you are not damaged or broken. I have no need to evaluate you, pigeonhole you, or repair you. During my sessions, I create an atmosphere of openness, authenticity, and honesty. In this atmosphere, partners find it is easier to say their piece.
My approach is tailor-made
I believe all therapy should be tailor-made. Every couple is unique and therefore has a unique way of dealing with their problems. That is why every couple also needs a unique approach to work on their issues.
I work integratively. This means that I combine different types of therapy into a highly effective treatment that is tailored specifically to address the struggles you face as a couple. I don’t believe there’s one method that covers everything.
My favourite methods, especially as a couples therapist and family therapist, are EFT Therapy and Gestalt Therapy. In my opinion, these two methods of therapy merge very well into a powerful, pleasant and effective combo.
I am a registered couples therapist
I am registered at EFT Nederland, ICEEFT, LVPW, NVAGT, EAGT and RBCZ.
Me, personally…
I have been married since 1999 and I have 2 kids. During my marriage, I have learned that being married is hard work. And this hard work consists of always choosing each other, always searching for each other, and always committing to each other. And this doesn’t just happen by itself.
If you want a loving relationship, you should pay attention to it. I believe that the times when my own relationship was in trouble had to do with the attention that my wife and I gave to our relationship. Of course, it is an open door when I say that it is exactly when trouble is brewing that additional attention should be paid to each other and the relationship with each other, but it is exactly at these moments that moving toward each other is the most difficult… or, in any case, that is how I experience it…
Just like every relationship, ours has also had the necessary ups and downs. Believe me, there are enough moments when my wife and I could send each other back where we came from, so to speak. And despite these moments, we have always chosen each other. It is exactly these moments when it is important to consciously choose each other, to go for each other despite all obstacles, just like when you still had a crush. I have been able to discover this awareness myself through EFT.
EFT has taught me to turn less towards myself when there is some trouble. It has taught me what the value is of making myself vulnerable and daring to say to my wife: “I need you…! Stand by me…!” EFT has helped me realize that my every move influences her every move. If both of us are prepared to control our moves, we are connected to each other and that is the foundation of a fantastic relationship…
Testimonials
For each couple there comes a time that they are ready to continue working on their relationship without me. They have acquired the skills necessary to face relationship challenges together. At the end of the last session ask couples if they are willing to write a short note about their experiences with couples therapy. I share these notes, these testimonials, with couples who are currently struggling within their relationship. I hope these testimonials helps them to have some courage, overcome their hesitations and just choose love and go for it!
Reconnected in love!
Couples attest to the loving connection they have achieved in their relationship by letting me take a picture of their hands. Here are some of those pictures:
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Experiences of couples who put their trust in me…
Once again connected as before…
When we enthusiastically boarded the marriage boat 15 years ago and promised to share love as well as sorrow, we didn’t anticipate that the ‘sorrow’ would affect us too. After years of prioritizing our 3 children, work, relocation, aging parents, we suddenly realized that the ‘we’ was seriously neglected and the natural bond between us was damaged.
Through a detour, we discovered the existence of Sue Johnson’s book ‘Hold Me Tight.’ Initially, we thought we could work through the book and exercises on our own. After all, the patterns and examples were very recognizable. But we were afraid of the emotions that would arise in those conversations, so we decided to seek a professional conversation partner.
Reginald is a people person, creating a confidential atmosphere from the very beginning. The threshold to delve deeply into conversations together was easily overcome with him. There was ample room for tears, but Reginald managed to keep the topics light, resulting in many laughs as well.
Reginald masters the subject matter. He can improvise when necessary, he can also explore side paths if needed, but he can also go straight to the point. His summaries and analyses of our patterns and stories are clear and direct, translated into his own words.
We have now completed the major maintenance of our relationship and are once again connected as before. We are grateful to have experienced this process with Reginald.
You and your partner will gain a deeper connection…
Reginald has brought us to a deeper understanding of ourselves, each other, and our behaviour patterns.
One of the insights we gained here is the importance of living in the here and now. We learned that the body is always in the present moment, just like the emotions we feel. An emotion is a message from yourself to yourself. A question you can always ask yourself in any situation is: how do I feel? What (basic) emotion do I feel in this situation? And what emotion lies (even deeper) beneath this? Recognizing and daring to name these emotions helps us to open up vulnerably, dig deeper into our feelings, and better understand their causes and underlying needs.
After 12 years of being in a relationship, we are getting to know each other in a new way, which we benefit greatly from. We thank Reginald for this. We recommend the sessions with Reginald to everyone. It doesn’t matter what stage your relationship is in, you and your partner will gain a deeper connection. Reginald provides techniques and supports you in applying them during the sessions. At home, you practice in so-called partner conversations to continue growing this way. Reginald chooses for you, is impartial, and does not judge